there is something inherently competitive about gyms.

i’m not a competitive person generally, i don’t bother competing nor comparing myself to others, i’ll always lose miserably, but when at the gym, you simply can’t help it. you glance over your shoulder to see the level at which the person beside you has their step machine, and up yours by one to match or beat it. you peer at the number of metres your neighbour has rowed in 10 minutes, and up your stroke per minute by two or three to ensure you seem faster. you nose at the number of laps run by the energetic blonde bouncing alongside you on the running machine, and attempt to out do her by a lap more. you wait until the guy in the lane next to you has started swimming, and front crawl as fast as humanly possible to reach the other end of the pool before him.

and i’m just as guilty as this as the next person – but its horribly destructive, as the person you compare yourself with looks back, sees that you are 0.2 steps per minute above him, and raises the bar again. you look back, see their increase, and must return the favour – it would be rude not too.

all this culminates in the person to my left getting buff, and me getting knackered, and leaving far sooner than boastable, heading for tescos for something to replenish my lost calories. but, still, i can say i go to the gym on a regular basis, and it is the only time i get to watch the eastenders omnibus on a sunday.

slim is back – naked faced as the day he was born, although possibly less hair on his head.

i was going to make tiger prawns with noodles for dinner this afternoon, but tesco seemed to have boycotted tiger prawns. i seem to recall a recall poster (hmm.. repetition of words) for them in the windows of Tesco a while back – it concerned me a little that food can be recalled, especially as the items were fresh, and most likely eaten on the day of purchase. What would one do in such a situation? Apart from the sheer terrific concern over why on earth they’d been recalled, and whether it was doing something horrific to your innards at that precise moment, one would also be horrified that the potential of a �3.99 refund was stuck in your small intestine. so i managed to cook risotto and make ice cream instead, niether of which killed us. I’m waiting for the recall poster.

the towers of algazore

Battersea Powerstation, from Queenstown Rd.
bearings are a funny game.

i think i’ve got quite good bearings, and if i rely on them alone, i usually end up where i’m going – but often, on my travels around london by foot, it is worth checking the occasional roadsign to ensure you’re not wandering off in the complete wrong direction, and end up in clapham when you meant to be in islington. so imagine my consternation when after walking a particularly steep hill this evening, that the cycle path sign which i was following to battersea had been rotated somewhat, and my wanderings where taking me into the direction of some unknown quantity. my saviour – bus stops and their “Towards Chelsea Bridge” signs. I eventually got back on track, and decided that my original plan of walking home from Wandsworth wasn’t such a good one, as i needed the loo, and fancied a pint – so i found the first train station, and hopped back to befnul faster than you can say something that takes an hour to say.

crappy photo, amazing view

i’m starting to really appreciate living in london.

i’m not sure when it started, but i’m in a transitional phase of my life at the moment. in some respects, its a good thing, i think i’m developing as a person, but in other respects i’m not sure whether its happening for the right reasons, however, something which seems to be symptomatic of this changing, is heightened emotion. its probably just hormonal – but i’m always on the edge of bursting into tears, sheer ecstatic joy, massive depression or manic laughter. I’m currently aiming to rest somewhere nearer satisfaction than any of the aforementioned extremes, and two nights ago was one of those moments. It was a lovely balmy evening, summer(ish) has come early this year, and combined with pushing the clocks forward one hour last weekend, as i left work at around 7.30, it was dusky and warm, a very european feel to the night. I walked home, and by the time i was at the flat, it was dark, but still warm, and for some unknown reason, i felt the need to go up to the roof.

I did, and perched on the ledge – something which i don’t enjoy doing with my fear of heights and edges – i sat and looked at the city skyline. Its rare i go up there at night, certainly nightime and sober, but it hit me just how beautiful the skyline was. We’re fortunate enough to be able to see from Centre Point on Tottenham Court Road all the way around to the Dome in Greenwich, including Tower Bridge, the OXO Tower, Natwest Tower, no doubt a dozen other landmarks too numerous to make out or point out. And, it is simply beautiful.

And something brought it home today. I bumped into a university friend on bethnal green road, who happens to live around the corner from me (unbeknowst to my good self) – which in itself is no great wonder, but that coupled with as i got into bed this evening and heard the ever increasing sirens of racing police cars down Bethnal Green Road, I’m living in a city which is truly unique, diverse, full of so many people, so much information, so many stories and lives – that I should be making so much more of my time in it.

Maybe i’m helplessly drifting back into that same place i was last Easter, looking for some bigger picture, some higher meaning, some deeper understanding of everything, but i am sure of one thing, that things are different now – and i’ve got to make the most of what i have and can be.

Today’s quotable phrase: “I can’t remember to forget”

Guy Pearce, Momento

+++ Si is now the list master. {Timmy}

+++ fsck has disconnected! (timmeh.)
+++ webponce is now the list master. {Timmy}
+++ Si has disconnected! (rowrnnnnnnnnngerTIMMAH!)
+++ webponce is now the group master.
+++ webponce has disconnected! (timmy!)

“just looking at the weather on the bbc pages.. and oh my god there is so much information on there. we are a country obsessed by weather.. its truly

remarkable.. do the dutch chat about cloud formations as often? do the french postuluate about rain patterns across northwestern europe? do the

brazillians discuss wind speeds over a cup of tea? i would think not. but then again, when is it ever as lovely as this outside? i suppose we as a

nation are quite excited when its sunny.. hence when i tell you that the five day forecast is SUN every day until MONDAY!!!!! you may jump for joy,

and i shall not be shocked in the slightest :)”

so much sun in fact.. a bbq on the weekend is planned.

oh the joys of summer