more on the vampires upstairs…

i saw one in daylight this morning. as i was leaving – the front door buzzer rang. upon opening it, i found a posty attempting to deliver more parcels and letters for the flat upstairs – however as it was a registered letter i didn’t sign for it. the postman gave me the rest of the post as a sudden chill rushed down the stairs. i turned to see a ashen faced shadowey figure in a large cloak behind me. in single movement he broke the postman’s neck and started walking away from me. i stood, frozen to the spot not able to speak or move – wondering why he had spared me.

“because you are part of the prophecy” he said, almost as if reading my mind “you will not die today – but when you close your eyes, i will be there”

i stood still unable to say a word and the figure vanished as a crow called in the distance.

normally i dread going to the dentist – not because of the incessant scraping, prodding, poking, pulling, grinding, drilling, scratching (have i made you cringe yet?) but because they always give me a lecture on how i should have been to see them more recently than i did – even if that was about three hours nipping back to the flat to pick up my wallet to pay the bill.

however, this time was a pleasant and educational exception. upon explaining that i’d been up half the night in massive pain around my lower right wisdom tooth, he took one glance and said “ah yes, how is your latin?”. Not being a latin reader at college (we did hand to hand combat, weights of common street narcotics and dance at my school) he started to proceeed about the sad state of schooling these days. I interupted saying although my latin is poor, i’m always eager to learn, and he explain i have pericoronitis. Peri – perimeter, coron – crown, itis – inflamation – my partially erupted wisdom tooth has skin covering it which becomes abrased and infected stopping me from sleeping – and now drinking, as I’m on antibiotics.

I love this medical stuff :)

pills? you want some pills?

no ta.. the standard reply.

i’ve just come back from a night clubbing.. i wussed out quite early as i’m absolutely knackered, but one can never spend too much time in a club without two or seventy people asking you if you want drugs. i wonder if i look the type.. or if they just ask everyone. however, tonight had a different spin. i was bopping away on the dancefloor to mr oakenfold’s banging choons, and for the fifth time, the words “you want any pills?” appeared in my ear. i laughed and said no thanks, and usually thats the end of the conversation – but she asked me “how many times have you been asked that tonight?” seeing the smile on my face. “oh, a fair few – but i don’t need the drugs.. the music is enough” i reply. “me too” she smiles and walks off. I grin and carry on dancing.

About a half hour later, she asks me again, then, upon clocking my face she says “oh, its you again, sorry..”, “no problems” i say, and she shuffles off.

Again, later, we bump into one another “you’re everywhere you are” she accuses me with a smile, and i respond “no, you’re everywhere you are” – lame perhaps.. but i was tired ;).. anyway.. we keep bumping into one another, and i end up buying her a drink and we chat for a little while.. of all the people i could buy a drink, of all the people i could talk to, of all the numerous avenues of opportunity – i pick the arguably most bizarre.

we've had recent visits from these two.. which is nice, angel is a very pleasant young boy, but that buffy has a bit of an attitude on hermore on the vampire story..

i explained a few weeks ago about the sheer number of mirrors in our flat – and how our landlord couldn’t possibly be a vampire. it now turns out that our housemate upstairs is a modern vampire. evidence for the court: the boxes addressed to him downstairs (which are now piling up) keep arriving, and some of the newer ones have labels explaining exactly their contents: cool blood bags and vacuum cleaners. Now, of course, vampiring these days is probably a damn sight more modern than when nosferatu was hanging around in bars – the vacuum cleaner, i reckon, is for sticking on someone’s neck and sucking the blood out without having to do that biting thing.

that would go a long way to explain why there are so many mirrors in our flat.. i’m sure of it.. and perhaps modern vampires don’t care about crucifix.. but cant go anywhere near boardgames and childrens’ toys.. which is why our flat had so many when we moved in. i shall investigate further and let you know.

today on the tube:

(the fourth time i made the journey between clapham and old street) i sat next to a man who smelt like meat pie.

got home and made cheese on toast – which is such a difficult skill to master when you don’t have a toaster.. making toast under our grill is a delicate operation.. but you will inevitably end up with charcol on one third of the bread, and slightly less than flour and water on the other side. but its edible – hell, cheese on toast is food of the gods anyway.

i was sorely tempted to use camembert as we have a load left in the fridge – but somehow i don’t think i’d get the desired effect.

then we had a game of fishing little motorised magnetic fish from a pool thing game, and homemade scrabble (both found in the flat when we arrived). I lost miserably at scrabble (i always do), but won the fishing game. I think that sums up the differences between me and slim.

de-construct have just bought a conference call phone, and it took every member of staff here bar one, to look at it, prod it and coo over it until it worked.

funny how gadgets get so much of a better response from people than most other things.. perhaps religion, morals and ethics should start marketing themselves as a gadget – NEW! godbot! place your faith in here, and get a guarenteed return from this LED display!

ta muchly to everyone to came to the housewarming.. i’d say it was a success, although our front room and fridge has never seen so much food.. slim and i are going to be eating like kings for the next week and a half. if you didn’t come to the first one this sunday.. there will be more.. so no need to fret

You know you need more sleep when:

You have a cold shower and grumble about it, and then realise you had the cold tap turned fully on.

You know you live in a geek house when:

The first thing you say to your flatmate in the morning is “Morning, I was thinking you could just use mysqldump to save out playlists”

You know you’re having a party today when:

A giant spot comes up on your chin.

You know you’re concerned with your own appearance when:

You make comments like the one above.

“tra la la.. reading my book, reading my book, reading my book…

BUGGER! I’m at waterloo! this isn’t on my line!”

still, slight testiment to my knowledge of london after 3 and a bit years, jump on another line, quick shuffle shuffle, and i’m back at work, only 30 minutes late.. on the day i actually got up in time to be in to work early.. doh.

good start to the friday methinks..

the people who work in the sandwich shop where we go for lunch most days are odd.

firstly, the smile too much. this, for londoners, is odd enough, but its slightly on the edge of scary “la la la, i’m going to eat your father’s spleen” smiling. i’ve not noticed any twitching yet, but i’d not be surprised.

secondly, and far more worrying, is they seem to want to put salad on everything – which in itself is no great oddity, but when you are ordering a toasted sandwich – when they ask if you want salad on that – now thats downright strange. warm salad?