east london has turned into some sort of retro early 80s computer roleplay game.

: go north

+++ You cannot go north. Your path is blocked by roadworks

: go south

+++ You cannot go south. Your path is blocked by roadworks

: go east

+++ You cannot go east. Your path is blocked by roadworks

: go west

+++ You go west, and are stopped by a tollbooth

+++ A troll speaks "Hello young sir, you must pay five gold pieces to enter central londinium"

: pay troll

+++ You have no money

: bribe troll with sexual favours

+++ The troll is not attracted to you

: use underground

+++ The underground is closed due to industrial action

: set troll on fire

+++ You set the troll on fire, but your robe catches alight

: call fire brigage

+++ You call fire brigade

+++ The fire bridgade do not turn up

+++ You are in pain

: go to a doctor

+++ You are not registered at a local GP surgery

: register with doctor

+++ All surgeries in this area are full

: go west

+++ Pet shop boy songs are banned here. The troll kills you.

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