bendy forks
everything is a bit too sensitive here – the flushes in the loo are touch sensitive, the taps are touch sensitive, the cutlery in garfunkels airside is … plastic. i’ve been frisked a couple of times already – which i have to admit, for 4am, is a first for me. the cute girl i saw in the check-in desk queue who was on her own has just walked past with her boyfriend, so i’ll have less chance with her now, although the way my stomach is feeling after i gave up waiting for an all day breakfast at one cafe, and went across for an ‘american breakfast’ at another, i’m not sure i’ll be getting off the plane upright anyway.. proper hearty breakfast though – strong cup of coffee, orange juice, eggs, bacon, sausages, tomato, pancakes, maple syrup and these tiny little potato square thingies – which i think they tried to pass off as hash browns, and had a core temperature somewhat hotter than that of a small star. so i’m sitting at the bar at ‘metro – eat and drink here or in the air’ – inspired marketing taglines. the ryanair stewardesses have just passed me in formation, somewhat like a scene from catch me if you can, heels in perfect harmony tapping along the hard floors towards the departure gates. i’m in the ‘eager beaver’ crowd – those sad few who were first in line to check-in, and first at the gate – as if we all have a sneaking suspicion that the plane may leave 15 minutes early just to catch some people out. i also notice that all the beavers (i shall shorten our demographic to this if you would be as kind as to indulge me) are single / travelling alone – apart from two guys over there who’s faces look somewhat near to what you’d expect if disney was to start a cloning laboratory.
its getting light outside now – and in just 25 minutes, the gate will open to allow boarding. i’m going to be keeping my eye peeled at the window to see if i can spot any examples of abuse against luggage – whether my own or otherwise (the other eye is staying firmly shut until i reach italy – i am still having a hard time believing that i’m awake at this hour.
i did notice though, that around 3am – there was a very odd transitional phase where yesterday became today – everything was quiet for about 3 SECONDS and then noise started up once more to signify the next day had begun. i’m meant to be at a party this evening – it smacks of similarities to another time i went on holiday – was up for a good 36 or so hours, and then went straight to a party – where i proceeded to drink vast quantities of champagne (2 glasses) and beer (half a bottle) and did the toilet hugging dance. i hope you will pray with me that i do not follow habit this evening.
daylight prevails over stansted now – albeit a foggy one – and 15 minutes to boarding. the world’s local bank is welcoming me to the entrance gangway – and i stand poised with my copy of jane eyre and a CD full of mp3 to last me the rest of my journey. i shall also be flicking through TimeOut guide to Venice, hurridly hunting for a pronounciation guide to help me speak to the taxi driver upon arrival. i have a feeling i may do a great deal of pointing and mime over the next seven days. thank god i did drama at college – marcelle marceau will be proud.
queuebuster
there are people who have done this before – you can spot them – they are the smart ones with soft padded bedding, a duvet or sleeping bag. cunning – it only takes one three hour stint on lying on cold faux marble flooring to realise that next time you should come more prepared. however, fortune is smiling upon me, because as i awoke, it happened to have fallen asleep, by pure coincidence, infront of the very two desks where i need to check-in – which is nice. so, now i’m waiting for the queue to.. bloody hell – there are already six people in it.. build and the desks to open so i can leave my rucksack in the capable hands of ryanair. i have already attempted to order an all day breakfast from the cafe around the corner, but all day only begins at 4am.. ten people in the queue now.. i must join it before my clever napping location fails to pay off.. ack 12 people.
travelling geek
Oh come on, you truly can’t be surprised that i’m blogging whilst on holiday? This is a wireless GPRS blog from the concourse at Stansted Airport.. where i have five hours to wait until i check-in.. so of course, i had to set up my laptop. Actually, i have to admit, its pretty cool that it is so easy to get online and do work whilst you’re in the middle of nowhere.. in fact, if i had a wifi card.. i wouldn’t even have to use my mobile.. but enough gadgetry.. soon enough i shall be camping down for a few hours sleep before my flight, on the cold marble floor of the airport (and maybe plugging into this handy power socket which i seem to have accidentally lay down next to.. what?! i pay my taxes, i’m sure i deserve a little free electricity courtesy of stansted airport.. don’t you? :)
