The many swipes of oyster users
I love my oyster (for those of you who don’t know, its the fantastic travelcard system for the London Underground). On the occasions I do have to use the not so fantastic tube, its the most easy hassle free way of getting on and off without worrying about buying tickets. We like. I’ve spotted there are numerous ways in which other oyster users swipe their card. Here are a few:
- #1 The Classic
Whip it out of your wallet / purse before you reach the gate, place it firmly and flat on the reader, and lift off in a graceful, not un-swanlike move. - #2 The Slap’n'Dash
Slam that mother on the reader so hard, people around you fall over. The thinking is that the delicate radio frequencies between card and reader will work better at high velocity. - #3 The fumble and stumble
Walk up to the gate, don’t get your oyster out at all until you’re standing right between the gates and about 30,000 Northern Line commuters are standing behind you. Fumble around in the bottom of your bag, pulling out tissues, mastercards, gym memberships, harry potter books and matchbooks until you find your blue key of tubeness. Put it on the reader, and wonder why people are tutting at you. - #4 The half-baked
See how little of the card you can get on the reader to make the gates open. 60%, 40%, 20%, just the corner. Stand and wonder at the ‘Seek Assistance’ messages, and then storm off to the gate staff to demand a replacement card. - #5 The rub’n'wiggle
Slap your card on the reader, and rub as hard as you can, as fast as you can. No wax-on, wax-off Danielsan, rub so furiously that smoke starts eminating from the reader and you start a security alert. - #6 The “I’m comfortable with my oyster”
Don’t even bother taking it out of your wallet. You’ve put it in the right place so you can just skim your purse across the reader, and be welcomed to the firey belly of the underground. Walk away with a smug grin. - #7 The “I’ve forgotten my oystercard”
Put your paper ticket on the reader and rub rub rub, like you’re expecting a Genie Tim O’Toole to appear. Then blush when you remember you’re using old school analogue technology.
I’m sure there are more, but these are the methodologies I share my journey with.
