---- New Conversation [Sun, 1:14 pm] ----
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: she is scaring me, and gravy
sent me a text messagem he wants to know if it is male or female
webponce says: he's rearranging the chairs!?!!?
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: i know
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: weirdo
webponce says: maybe he wants to kill us ALL... ARGARAHRGHARGAH
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: it stinks too
webponce says: nice.. why are you smelling him?
alibooyakasha%hotmail.com@msn.jabber.org says: i can smell it from here

wussed out..
going home.. did an interaction though “can we catch up on missed sleep”..
ha.. comedy..

alig is picking me up at 11.. so will be in early.. so its not all bad.. am looking forward to spending tommorow with abbie actually.. will be nice to cuddle in someones arms.. need that when tired..

nice dinner..
asparagus with mushrooms in a garlic butter
duck breast with omlettey thing
pistachio creme brulee
and a suitable rant about my tax returns to finish

but apart from that.. was most pleasant.
i think i’m getting too old. there were drunks on the tube on the way back, well, not even drunk.. loud – and a group of girls being.. loud. i just wanted them all to be quiet.. shush people.. i’m trying to read my book.. still have that feeling that everyone would just go an leave me alone.. getting worse now – but i’m starting to wonder about all this ‘self’ crap. all the spirituality thing.. is it just that i need to release some anger? do i need to find something higher?
nah.. i just need to sleep for a while – the problem is i’m on edge at the moment with too many people relying on me – not even relying.. just wanting to be with me – and i’m turning around and being a cnut.

and on edge is no understatement.. i’m jumpy, emotional, feel unhealthy
i need to chill.. but … can’t yet :)

new security dood. again. bah
thinking about just going home actually.. should sleep and then work early tommorow.. but if i am going to abbies.. won’t be able to. and didn’t do much today :(
2 hours.. then home i think

1 nurofen down..

new ‘secure’ity guard..
a) the front door wasn’t locked properly, ie. just on its catch.
b) i walked up the stairs, and as i was about to punch in the code on the mullet door, he opened it and i walked in, said “hi” and proceeded to steal all the machines in the building (well, that bits inaccurate.. but i could have done)

pointless.. absolutely pointless..
attractive bloke though (lol)

just got in from camden market, getting my mum her 50th birthday present (which was yesterday.. and had completely forgotten about it.. doh).. so got her a nice bottle of verve c, and some minutures for the dolls house, as well as a silver plated card.. must remember to sign it, or i’ll end up giving her a blank card.. that would be very me :)

on the tube and saw a john lewis advert for swinging garden furnture for couples.. almost cried.. that’s not good is it? emotional edge methinks.. kirsty agrees, asked her how the date went.. no response.. hmm…

meeting mom and dad at 7 in south ken.. get two hours lingo done now.. and then head off, eat and come back

(securedood standing on bridge.. OMG. its that bald bloke from reeves and mortimor, but with a ginger mullet)..

got mail from alison saying she’s arriving in 4 weeks.. cool :)

still here.. fiddling with the banner style header on this page.. duh..
can still smell burning.. ah.. just worked it out.. the heaters under the desk have come on..

wonderful pieces of technology.. heat the desk, leave the developer concerned and cold…

just found a track which i haven’t listened to in ages.. v feelgood “aurora – ordinary world“.. and as i try and play it again.. apollo or ie or whatever, screws my dns.. and all goes to pot.. might as well go home now.. tarrah

*so* in the zone.. but have to go home.. parents are coming tommorow.. and i *know* they will call at 8am, saying “we’ll be there in three hours..”, rather than calling when they arrive.. but have got good section done.. cute.. here is a  sheep to prove it.. awww

why can i smell burning..? dust burning.. that warm smell.. like on radiator you just turned on after winter.. hmmm. i think i should back up my work off site :)

tonight’s sustenance:

quite an amount of cocacola
1 can of redbull
1 lasagne (meat) from stars and stripes (kickass.. go there.. last night, masses of pizza for �20.. vgood)
2 garlic breads with cheese

how personal should i go on this.. i don’t want everyone to know what i’m thinking.. but this is the only way i’ll ever keep a diary. should probably buy one of those ‘paper’ based diaries.. but i mean.. come on… analogue technology?!?
maybe i should create a personal blogger which saves to passworded files, and then just export them and print them out.. and save this one for rants and what i’m up to?

poo.. jabber IM client is not updating when people come online / go offline.. although its a brilliant piece of software.. no, i’ll take that back.. the protocol is kick ass, the software is pretty pony..

reminder to self.. write your own jabber client
reminder to self.. learn C++ to be able to write own jabber client
reminder to self.. should be working…

call from abbie.. falling asleep on the phone.. awww.. cute little thing..
whoa.. can’t leave zone.. easy.. crack open the nescafe.. or redbull.. hmm.. i fancy redbull.. never normally, but this is day three of 6am’s in a row.. i’m starting to shift again..

just installed blogger
probably easier than uploading every time.. of course an idea stolen from slim.. who else when tech related…

bah.. in a right mood tonight.. should use my anger to work rather than moan.. more productive.. no reason to be moody though.. i think i’m just tired, or hormonal.

thought for the evening.. why am i writing a diary from now on.. which is public???? diary.. good, public.. maybe bad.. although maybe not, maybe its a good thing that my thoughts are known.. no secrets, no hurting people with stuff you should have told them a long time ago. (hint).

right back to lingo for the mo.. i’ve still got to do that 101 questions.. and i’m sure the security guard is going to attempt to kill me soon, so i at least want to finish a good section of O2..

Projects and Thoughts.